I surrender

Today I was reflecting on this beautiful morning. The light of the morning streaming through the trees, spreading its warmth on the cold earth. I feel so inspired by nature's beauty everyday, feeling blessed to see God's creation before me. A song really ministered to me this morning that I wanted to share, the lyrics playing over and over "I surrender, all to you, Lord all to you". It was so powerful to hear the words coming out of my mouth. After repeating the verses I began thinking yes, I truly surrender. I've been holding on to so many things, my future, my marriage, my job, friends...not realizing that my tight grasp kept me from praying over these things. It was so refreshing to think that I didn't have to hold onto them any longer, exchanging my burden for His- "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." 
That I could surrender these things to God. Its sort of been a theme of mine this year. Wanting to let go but never truly doing so. I share this in hopes that as a friend of mine you remind me of the truth. To surrender and be venerable before my Abba. To give him all.

My great Uncle Hoss (Bonanza!)

Whether this is true or not I like to think that I'm related to Dan Blocker, the character "Hoss" from the famous western show Bonanza. Hoss' character- the bigger than life, ten gallon cowboy hat wearing keeper of the justice was also incidentally my favorite as well. Every time we would watch the show my mother would chime in over our shoulders and say- there's your great Uncle Hoss! Of course any of you that know my mother know that she doesn't need a shred of real evidence to start a family story about our loving great Uncle. He was always the most jovial character, with all the funny lines. The story started when my mother found  out that he came from Texas (O'Donnell to be precise, for more info here's Dan Blocker's memorial ) and bears the same last name as my great grandmother Carmen Blocker, her maiden name before marrying my great grandfather. I never knew my great grandmother but I hear amazing stories about her, enjoyed dressing up in her lavish robes and dresses, thinking that we would've got along like peaches & cream! (sorry, I'm feeling a bit Texan today).  I like to picture that some days, me, my great granny, Uncle Dan, all riding around in an old pickup truck in the hill country of Texas, singing at the top of our lungs to Johnny Cash. I so wish I could've met my great grandmother and enjoyed her quirky personality.Its always good to know where you came from, what parts of your personality are really yours- or just handed down from generation to generation. And its always great to dream, enjoy your mind and let it wander.

InSPAration a success!

Last night at our church we hosted a woman's event called InSPAration to treat the women of our church & their girlfriends to a free night of back massages, hand treatments, manicures, pedicures & hairstyling! We were told that there were 500 women come to the event, not including all the volunteers!! The event was meant to bless the women and also to recruit them to our small groups this Spring. A few of my friends and coworkers came as well so that made it extra special to me. I recruited a few women to our small group, got my nails done, got a back massage & free spa products. I'm so happy I have a church to be proud of you know? I feel so blessed to have a church that can bless our community! Amazing night! 

Beach running benefits

Ok so I apologize ahead of time for those of you who do not live near a beach but I found out the other day when my friend Emily and I went jogging on the beach together all of the great benefits! So I am not the best runner (I actually secretly loathe it) but in order to get in shape for a 5K run to benefit Muscular Sclerosis in March we are determined to get into shape. I've set is as a goal to be in "running shape" by March. I know its not a long run but again- I haaaate running. Something about it just never motivated me. I loved mountain biking, frisbee, basketball...maybe the key was that I was chasing something...or something was chasing me. Either way I read online the benefits of beach running! According to surfingcapital.com, the reason that running on sand is so hard is that every time you attempt to push off it, the sand gives way, requiring you to exert approximately 1.6 times the energy that would be required to maintain the same speed on solid ground. For walkers, make that 2.1 to 2.7 times for energy. This of course means to me that I'm breathing harder and my butt hurts like h#%$. Have to be careful because it can also be harder on my feet because of the lack of arch support. So my friend Emily (picture) and I committed to running each week on Wednesdays. If any of you runners have any advice for a novice runner such as food tips or additional exercises let me know! Oh- and any motivational tips would be great too! :)

2 year wedding anniversary!!

January 11, 2008

Two years ago I devoted myself in marriage to David. In the snowy mountains of Crested Butte we committed our lives in to one another. It was so serene. Just us and the pastor. I felt almost as if I was reading the ceremony from a book, not living it in real life. We flew in to Crested Butte, met with our pastor and the next day were married. I can't explain how happy I was. Even though I missed family and friends, it was perfect for us. I thank God everyday for blessing me with David. I truly believe God had predestined us to meet. Now two years later I feel exactly the same. We've argued, slammed doors, laughed hysterically, loved, cried but its all beautiful to me. I pray each day my marriage will be like my parents, when my dad told me- "I'm more in love with your mother today (25 years of marriage) than I was when we were first married". If this is love I can't wait to experience it in 25 years! 
January 11, 2009


 
















January 11, 2010

I choose contentment

I think I've finally reached a point in my life where I am content. Or at least I've decided I will choose to be content. Now this doesn't necessarily mean my life is where I want it to be or is perfect. My job is endlessly frustrating some days. I know each of us searches for a degree of contentment, our "God shaped hole" in each of us. I picture contentment as the feeling you get after a big sigh. Your body breathing out the frustrations, worries, tragedy, personal failures and saying to yourself- I'm ok. There might always be a better job out there, a better opportunity but I choose to be content in my circumstances. 
Now I am not confusing contentment with apathy I hope. I've been there before. A short period of feeling nothing after a hurtful breakup. I had never felt that before- simply not caring. It scared me more than my rebellious behavior. Apathy is a product of not following God's direction for you in life I think. Knowing he made you uniquely gifted and not choosing to use the gift, or using it for selfish gains. 
Oh here's a big one- being content with my body. Ok, I'm going to put it out there, I am at least 20 pounds overweight. Since my two years of marriage I've managed to go up two pant sizes. Its discouraging. But inevitable I guess after knowing what I eat. And I can't blame it on my husband, despite the fact he sometimes refuses to eat the meals I've made from Cooking Light recipe book. I can only choose to go to the gym & eat healthier (easier said than done right). I choose to be content, despite not being necessarily happy. 
 I think Paul says it best in Phillipians 4

 ¹⁰I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. ¹¹I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹²I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³I can do everything through him who gives me strength. 

He's found the "secret of being content in any and every situation". Sounds like a New York bestseller self help book title! When I read that it amazes me- its attainable. He's found it, maybe I can. And I truly believe in my heart that it is a choice. Its not ignorance, its not idealism, its a growing relationship with Christ. He gives us strength- emotionally, mentally, physically. He is our source, didn't Christ say he was the water and bread? Life sustaining. 

I don't know if you feel it too but this year I am excited. Excited about Christ like never before. I feel like I've awakened from a sleep, my vision clear, I desire the heart of God. Do I sound crazy? Maybe...but I want what Paul had, what David had, what Abraham had, what Elijah had. A life sustained by God. A life fully focused and committed. And what's truly crazy about this year is that I don't know what will happen, where we'll be, what I'll be doing. Its completely blank when I visualize how this year will be. But I do know that my eyes are seeking His face, and that's all I need to know.

A review of 2009 in pictures!

I'm so excited about 2010! Our church Bayside Community gave us such a great vision for the New Year. There are going to be so many changes in our lives I cannot wait to see what God has prepared for us. David and I have entered this year with open and willing hearts. My New Years Resolution is simply this- Psalm 37: 3 "Trust in the Lord and do good"
My friend Marietta posted this idea on her site and I copied the idea. A year in review in pictures:

January 11, 2009- Our 1 year wedding anniversary!

Celebrated at the Lobster Pot- YUM

February 14- We got our puppies- Lily & Roman

(they fit into cat carriers!)

Our puppies a year later

March- David got to play in a golf tournament at TPC Sawgrass with his friend Matt!

(He parred 17 if you know the course)

April- My parents came to visit during Easter!

we had a lot of fun...

May- Went to McDill Airshow with friends Craig & Rosie

April- Went to see Indie car race in downtown St. Pete

April- I started my job at Healthy Families as a Family Support Worker

(my desk)

May- David's parents came to visit

Went to a lot of Ray's games in the summer

June- birthdays! My 25th, David's 32nd We went to the Florida Aquarium

June- David's sister and husband Blair come to visit

July- Happy 4th of July!

August- we visit Selby Gardens often in the summer to enjoy the beautiful trees!

October- Tampa Bay Buccaneer's Kick Off Party with Tim & Lauren

(too bad the Bucs sucked this year)

The boys got their footballs signed by the Buccaneer's players

October- My sister finds out she's pregnant

(Little brother for Summie)

October- Halloween as Princess Leia & Han Solo

(Party at Jenny & Brian's)

November- Fall Party with friends Pumpkin carving

...not very successful...

November- Ye Ole Medieval Festival

November- Thanksgiving with Jenny & Brian

December- Christmas Ugly Sweater Party with Coworkers

December- Healthy Families Christmas Parent Group a success!!

December- Christmas with Drew in Florida

What an awesome year!!

Christmas time with Drew in Florida!

So this Christmas was Drew and I's first without our parents or family. David and I were thinking about going to Texas for Christmas to see his grandparents and mine. It was going to be a crazy trip- flying into Dallas, then getting picked up by my parents in Dallas, drive to Austin to see my aunt, then drive to Kerrville to see my grandparents, drive back to Austin and then fly out to home. We researched the cost of the trip for nearly a month- thought about flying out of Tampa, out of Orlando, to driving there! (A two day drive) One of our biggest problems was what to do with our dogs. We wanted to kennel them but couldn't find one that was less that $40 a day/dog! (that's nearly $600 for a 6 day trip) It was looking either really expensive or really impossible. So David and I prayed for guidance. The next day Drew texted me saying "might be able to come to Florida for Christmas..." And when I told David we both knew that would be the best idea! So we found an airline called Allegiant Air CHEAP flights! and found Drew a seriously cheap flight. Drew asked off of work & it all came together in a couple of days! We had an awesome time. And what was really fun is that I got to do things I haven't done yet in Florida, so it really felt like a vacation for me as well. We went to Mote Marine and saw dolphins and manatees, ate out A LOT!, ate at the historic Salty Dog, Siesta beach, slept in, stayed out late. Just plain ole good times with Drew. We got to catch up and as always- felt like a day hasn't gone by since we've seen each other. Drew was always a great conversationalist. We stayed up late talking and laughing. Made me really appreaciate my family, who just GETS me you know? It was awesome. I feel so blessed to have had this opportunity because we never know when we might leave Florida!

The movie that defined my childhood: Man From Snowy River

If I'm speaking to a fellow fan of "The Man" as I call it you are already humming Clancy's tune "hmm hmm hmmm hmmm hmm hmm..." and so on in your head. I was reminded today of my love for the movie when a friend posted quotes from it on my Twitter page. It took me back to a simpler time in my childhood. A time when I dreamed of riding with the Brumbies....My family always gew up watching wholesome movies so we didn't have many good options. Mostly they were old Don Knott's movies, Disney cartoons and the occasional classic- like The Man From Snowy River. A story about an Australian cowboy, Jim Craig, who was forced out of his mountain dwelling to defend his land, horses...and family name. (pretty good eh I just made that up). The actor in the movie, Tom Burlingson was more of a horse rider/stunt man than actor, which adds to the authenticity of his character. Sort of socially awkward, but certainly quick with the fist if you insult his integrity (remember Curly? He had it coming...) The movie is a love story, as well as an action/adventure. There are amazing horse stunts, jumps, huge cattle drives, passion and suspense. Jim's love interest- Jessica or "Jess" is one of those strong female roles a girl can be proud of. A daughter of a wealthy cattle owner she isn't a stranger to the saddle. A prideful girl but one that easily falls for a country mountain boy. The story slightly resembles the star crossed lovers Romeo and Juliet where in their love they are ostrasized from both families: Jim- the hardworking mountain men, Jess-the wealthy elite. Neither approve of the union. Jim eventually proves himself worthy of her affection by riding down and capturing the prized colt of Jessica's father. The chase of the horse is probably the best part of the movie- hundred of horse riders charge after a pack of wild horses- the Brumbies. Jim's expert horse riding skills put him in the front. The best scene is when the wild horses leap down a steep mountainside and none can follow- but Jim- who flies over the other men to charge down the mountain in a scene like no other I've ever seen in movies before. Gives me chills everytime I watch him and his horse run down a nearly vertical slope. The story always fed into my adventurous side, always wanting to discover something new. The love story was sweet, and showed that sometimes you have to stand apart from the crowd. Such an amazing story! Best line in the movie is at the end, when Jim has proven himself the best rider, the man of integrity, the man who's stolen Jessica's heart. He leaves her in anticipation, needing to take his newly won brood of mares back to his mountain home, to prepare for Jessica's arrival. He leaves her breathless with this: "There are a dozen good mares in that mob. I'll be back for them...and for whatever else is mine." Jim Craig's website :)

"Cargo Bikes: Go Ahead And Bring The Kitchen Sink"

"Curtis "Corky" MillerA Million And One Uses: A cyclist and two boys take one of Metrofiets' cargo bikes for a spin in Portland. Cargo bikes are a game changer. I currently run a coffee roasting business (www.trailheadcoffeeroasters.com) entirely by bicycle within the boundaries of Portland, Ore. All deliveries and business errands are done on a bicycle capable of carrying ~150-200 pounds. So many people assume that being on the bike is a second choice when a car is so easy and without effort. I find being in a car stressful and lethargy inducing. Picture a vehicle that can carry around your kids and groceries efficiently, and doesn't burn any fossil fuels. But there's one drawback: You have to pedal it yourself.
Cargo bicycles are specially designed bikes that can haul several hundred pounds. Long popular in Europe, they're starting to make their way into the United States."
NPR news http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=121034522

Thanksgiving week!

So I have to say I went into Thanksgiving weekend with some reservations. I'm always super emotional/nastalgic during Thanksgiving because we are some of the only people here without any family close. Last year for Thanksgiving David and I had an awesome time, but it was just the two of us. Was kind of hilarious because we made all the food and barely finished half of it...but still a good time. Made me realize just how far we were from family. But this year we found ONE couple that didn't have family to spend Thanksgiving with! So we spent this year with Jenny & Brian. They are both originally from Chicago so Sarasota is quite a transition. I remember how I felt last year spending Thanksgiving alone and knew that it would mean a lot to Jenny. Turned out to be an amazing time. Had my first deep fried turkey, made with vodka for some reason (I don't know ask Brian), watched football, laughed a lot, and ate a whole lot! So for me, that equals a good time. I truely feel that living in Florida for nearly 2 years has made me truely thankful for friends. I've always been close to my family but when you live far away your friends truely become your new family. We've had people pour into our lives like I've never experienced. I never realized friends could be this close, close as family. I thank God for the new friends we've made here and the interesting experiences we've had! And you know, I really am thankful for my husband, he's so fun, hilarious, always up for something new. We just finished decorating our house for Christmas and he worked alongside me like a little kid, excited mostly to decorate the palm tree's in our front yard. So thank God for your amazing blessings!

How rich are you??

My sister posted this website on her blog and had to pass it along! It compares your yearly income with the average income of the world's population. So we feel  rich blessed today.
We're 55,146,441 richest person in the world! We're in the TOP .91% richest people in the world.
Calculate your income and give today Global Rich List

What I'm listening to today

"Everything" by Alanis Morissette
So I've loved Alanis' music since her first woman empowering, man hating album Jagged Little Pill, singing at the top of my lungs to "You Oughta Know"...not knowing the true meaning behind her bitter words, just liking the feeling of being a tough woman! Picture a 14 year old screaming "well I'm here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away!!" Rocking out from my gray Walkman. I think that love for her raw, at times brutually honest lyrics speak to me still. Recently I downloaded her Collection album with the best of all her songs and have been touched by "Everything". If it was playing on the radio I would, for the first time in my life, call in the local radio station and dedicate it to my husband David. Its a song I picture singing to him at our 50th wedding anniversary (minus the first line if you end up listening to it...). But its sweet, sarcastic, refreshing, honest, pure. It makes me smile everytime I listen to it. Pick it up on iTunes :)
Chorus
"You see everything
You see every part
You see all my light
And you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And your still here..."

BUY THIS NOW series by Katy :)

I thought I'd start a new series of household items that have changed the way I clean. I have two cats and two dogs and we constantly leave the windows open at our house because of the great weather- therefore- my house always has a film of dirt on the floor! I have two pets especially that shed chunks of fur. So yesterday David and I got a Hoover SteamVac and its amazing! We've only lived in this rental house for 4 months but the water we were throwing out was BLACK! It was a disgusting/revealing cleaning. Plus we both had a lot of fun cleaning (which is a plus ladies if your husband isn't the clean type) because you can see the line where it cleans! We got a Hoover because its easy to use, the clean water is separated from the dirty water (which in other brands it for some reason mixes together the dirty and clean water making it gross to clean. So we picked ours up at Best Buy for $175 and it has already paid for itself. Renting a Rug Doctor from Home Depot is $60 for 45 minutes! So go BUY THIS NOW!

Beauty

Looking out of my window at the palm trees and sunny bright sky I am so captured by the beauty of nature. I never thought I'd enjoy the beauty of Florida as much as I have. Of course the white sand beaches and blue green water is obviously beautiful but I always missed the mossy creeks of Arkansas. My dad and I used to go on hikes every month to the Buffalo River and one time we decided to bushwack our way through the trail so we could make the trailhead before sundown. And we found this little pocket of ferns with a small stream running through in a crevice of a mountain. It was like one of those weird moments where you feel like you were the first person to ever see this sight. Like a scene out of a JRR Tolkein novel. I always go back to that moment and think it was the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen. Its amazing how different beauty can be, even in the overgrown backyard of mine, the twisting vines...which David says are killing the trees but whatever! I never knew before living in Florida how noisy palm trees were. When its windy outside you can hear them creaking and crackling. I was informed that it was because they self prune by breaking off the dead branches in the wind. Its the same sound as someone chopping wood. For the rest of my life I think I'll be encountering these small moments in nature, the diversity of beauty, if I'm just willing to listen and see it.

Barbie got the boot!

Well not actually, lovely little Barbie is still flouncing that perfect 34,28 (what are the other measurements?)body of hers around town but listen up, there's some new girls on the block. Anyways, I heard on NPR the other day that the provacative Bratz dolls are getting replaced by "Moxie" dolls after a lawsuit...from the makers of Barbie! That they are too similar to the Barbie prototype. *Gasp*
Does this not seem like some sort of high school cat fight? Hilarious. The new Moxie girls feature a plethora of races fully clad in colorful teenie bopperish clothing. It is said, however, that they resemble a less, how do I say, Hooker-ish version of Bratz. They are a bit more conservative than the other girls.
I remember playing with Barbies growing up. My sister and I had an aaaamaaazing time. And we had the old group- Ken, Barbie, Skipper, a pre-teen size (what were their names?) and even the babies! When my sister and I played though we weren't just going to the mall or the movies- we had epic adventures as pirate princesses, Amazonian treasure hunters, deep sea divers!! I mean these adventures we had with our Barbies lasted for weeks! We made clothes out of old rags that my mom gave us, put music to it (Phantom of the Opera was classic) and even drug my brother into playing with us. (We were that fun!) My sister and I bought Barbies into our teens and even had a code word when we were shopping for one saying- "Oh we should get this for our sister 'Emily'..." Well needless to say "Emily" had plenty of dolls! haha Oh man, I really am looking forward to the day either Heidi has a girl or me because then we can pass on our epic adventures to them...and also get a chance to play dolls again!

Don't buy Reebok

So I don't know how many of you have seen the new Reebok commercial featuring woman's shoes to specifically tone a woman's butt. I think the commercial is so embarrassing. Once again we are objectifying women..classic. So I wrote Reebok's Customer Service an email:
"Hello
I just wanted to write you and say how dissapointed I am that your newest advertisement for a woman's shoe (specifically designed to "tone your butt") objectifies women. In the commercial it focuses on her butt twice. I guess your marketing department assumes that women will want your product to tone their butts, but you use sexual objectification to attract women? I understand that sex sells but its almost hilarious your doing it for a women's shoe! I don't even have kids and it grosses me out. I'm in my mid twenties and work out often and I know now that I will never use your product and will go out of my way to tell others not to use your product either. It would be refreshing if a shoe company would actually sell shoes instead of resembling a rap video.
Thanks"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCHKXICefFw

On the brink

So today I was reflecting how I feel that so many people in my life are "on the brink" of a major decision in life. To have kids, to move, to stay, to buy a house! David and I have been wrestling with the thought of moving for the last few months. We always knew that Florida wouldn't be our long term home, but we weren't sure how long. We're nearing the 2 year mark of Florida and I have to say I love it here. Especially since we were able to find a cool church. It has made the difference in the quality of our lives here. I keep praying that God will give me direction, that I'll feel confident about one decision or the other. I've thought about fasting and praying but really don't really know exactly how/what to do when I do it. I mean I know to pray but am not sure exactly the purpose of doing it. I want to be focused. I feel lost. I want to feel like I'm moving toward a goal. I'm stuck. Anyone have any suggestions in how to get out of a rut? How to move forward? I want to badly to know where to go or what to do!! Learning how to trust God has been a life long lesson for me. To give it over. To release control. Maybe that's all I can do at this point.

Pictures of the house!

David and I moved to lovely Glades Way in August. Its so different from our last place in that our last place was new, in a new area and a townhouse. Now this is an older house, with a big yard in an older part of town. So its actually the opposite! But it works for us. I can't wait for the day that we can buy a house, this one we're renting.Sorry, the quality of the pictures aren't great!