Ouch this hurts...

This has been a really difficult week for me this past week. Working with struggling families has been more challenging than I expected...not that I expected it would be easy, but I can't deny that its effected me. I've worked with struggling teenagers before at Piney Ridge, a rehabilitation center for teenage sex offenders, but never with mothers and their child. At Piney Ridge the kids were separated either from the perpetrators or their victims, a "controlled environment" if you will. We could control the messages going into the teenagers heads by constantly encouraging them, cutting out tv and radio. They all had therapists and nurses caring for their every need. As a youth care worker you were there as a teacher's aide, a watchman for any fights, and mainly- a motivator. It was such an awesome atmostphere most of the time. But now I go into the "lions den" so to speak. To the heart of the family- the home. Nothing is hidden, nothing can be candy coated. I see the environment as it truely is. Some families struggle on just getting by each day with a meal on the table, but some families live off the beach! There's so much diversity in this job. I've met people from all walks of life. All with one goal- to fall in love with their child, for guidance on how to be the best parent possible. I'm always so impressed that these families have reached out and asked for help, do you know how hard that is?? I know I struggle with asking someone for help, even family. But I can't say seeing and experiencing all this doesn't hurt. Some nights I just come home and cry. There are some days I think I'm just not cut out for this type of job. It has brought me to the Lord, forced me to lay at His feet and ask for His wisdom. This past year I've gone back and forth from extreme highs and lows. And His love is enduring and faithful. Though that sounds cliche what it means to me is that his voice is there if I only slow down to listen. Turn off the tv, my phone, the computer, all distractions and just listen to the still small voice. I look to my Father as a friend, a friend who listens and cares. But I ask for help now, to my friends, to pray for me at this job. For His wisdom to guide me.